Cristiano Ronaldo to join Paris Saint-Germain ?
Eden Hazard loves his banter – just can’t get enough of it. First there was the whoopee cushion on Oscar’s seat on the team bus. Then he turned Gary Cahill’s socks inside out in the changing room before letting one rip in the tunnel. And then there was one of the worst penalties in living memory. José Mourinho, of course, did not see the funny side but most of social media did, reminding the banter baron that he claimed Hazard was better than Cristiano Ronaldo in July. Well Mourinho may want to think twice because it appears Ronaldo is waving adios to Real Madrid at the end of the season. He is not happy at his treatment by the club apparently and Manchester United, Paris Saint-Germain and all of Major League Soccer are on what is best known as red alert.
Real Madrid will then battle out it with United, when Ed Woodward inevitably fudges the Ronaldo transfer, for Marco Reus, who is still at Borussia Dortmund much to the Mill’s surprise. That would in turn pave the way for Arsenal to add Isco to their attacking midfielder ranks.
United having more pressing needs, though. They have a Luke Shaw-shaped hole to fill and where better than Leeds to look to fill it? Charlie Taylor has been impressing at Elland Road, under the watchful eye of Uwe Rösler, and is ready to hop across the Pennines for a cool £4m in January, by which time he will be able to hone his skills in the Europa League.
Joining United in the Europa League – perhaps soon to gain a little brother if Uefa press ahead with plans for a third European competition that will in no way shape or form look like a rehashed Intertoto Cup – will be Arsenal. Arsène Wenger has been moaning about how all the best strikers come from South America. Olivier Giroud did not exactly prove him wrong against Dinamo Zagreb so Wenger is going to act. He’s going to snap up Michy Batshuayi for a whopping £22m from Marseille. Batshuayi is of course Belgian but we will not let that get in the way of a good story.
Vitesse Arnhem are set to acquire Marko Grujic, the 19-year-old Serb, who will join on loan, just as soon as Chelsea tap Hamburg on one shoulder, nip past the other and beat them to his signature.
And in other news, desperately on the hunt for a new club Emmanuel Adebayor took on board some of Mourinho’s advice and googled himself to find nothing but the online equivalent of a ball of tumbleweed. He’ll try again tomorrow.